Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Randomize
