Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Less talking, more tequila
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
