I need help removing her.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
