I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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