windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
