She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
why is half of my head shaved?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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