What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
