you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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