I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
