How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Randomize
