I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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