I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
