Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
