I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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