Buhtt sex?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
