He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
