Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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