i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
