It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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