Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
