Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
