he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize