Just mADE A PArabola og urine
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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