so let's talk penis.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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