awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm too high and old for this...
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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