I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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