with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize