I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
