Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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