wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
