I just made out with a guy for $7.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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