While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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