I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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