it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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