Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
