i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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