dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
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