I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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