Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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