weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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