i jhust puked up my retainher.
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
