apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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