And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
