I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
