you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
