butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Ambien. No doubt about it.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
