Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
she smelled like a LAN party
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
