Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
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