I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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