i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Everyone says I win the strip club
Randomize
