Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
