hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
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