you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Barsexuality is the new black.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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