People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
