Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
