so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
