everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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