I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
