So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
