I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
