You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
