Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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