Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
