Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
