paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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